Session 9 - Outlines and Treatments

So, how do you write a good outline?

It’s a bit like telling a story to a friend in a pub.

• You want to start engagingly and grab their attention.

• You want to get to the point quickly.

• You want to ensure your story is entertaining.

• You want to provide context and setting.

• You want to make sure the meaning or theme is clear.

• You want to describe the characters and how they impact on the story.

• You want to have a great ending.

It is not a piece of prose writing so don't bother peppering your outline with metaphors and similes.  Write in a 'matter of fact' style, third person and in present tense.  Don't waffle and don't use dialogue.

As a rough guide a script between 10 minutes and 30 minutes in length requires an outline of about 1 page of A4. A 90 to 120 minute full-length screenplay requires an outline of 2 to 4 sides of A4.

But there are no rules.  So if someone has asked you to produce an outline, ask them how long they expect it to be.

An outline has two purposes:

1. To clarify your story to yourself. NEVER move on to the second stage (writing a treatment) until you are sure of the narrative (or plot) and the meaning of your story.  It is far easier to rework a story in this short format than juggling with pages and pages of written material.

2. Outlines also serve the very important purpose of attracting finance. Whenever you are ready to apply for a commission or for funding, your outline will be used in the first instance to attract interest in your project. It is therefore imperative that it is well written and thought through because you will not get a second chance. Producers ask to see outlines because it is easier to read a short outline than a full-length script. Your outline could make the difference between getting a commission to write the script or not.

Here is a sample outline for a short script written by Jane Pugh for a film produced by the Cornwall Film Fund in 2003.

Baby Boy

Baby Boy is a simple story about twelve year-old Terry and his older sister, Susan, who is fifteen. She is intelligent and pretty. Terry has Downes Syndrome. They love each other but Susan has her own life. One night she meets her friends, Michael, Becky and Simon. Michael and Susan fancy each other, they want to have sex, they're scared but any day now it's going to happen. Michael and Susan are a golden couple. Becky is jealous, Simon seemingly indifferent.

They go off, hanging out at Geevor Mine long after everyone has gone home. No one knows they are there. It's night. Terry has followed them. Susan is annoyed; she hates it when Terry hangs around her and her mates. She's embarrassed and scared for him though she would never admit it. Michael, having just been rebuffed by Susan, is feeling impotent and frustrated, and so fancies a bit of sport. He invites Terry into the group.

Terry is immediately out of his depth. Michael promises Becky that he'll take her out on Saturday if she'll kiss Terry. Michael knows Becky fancies him, and he knows Terry fancies Becky. Susan tries to stop them; she knows her brother is going to get hurt.

Becky kisses Terry and, repulsed and trying to save face, wretches and curses. They all laugh at Terry. He doesn't understand and he doesn't know how to stick up for himself.  He's confused and angry and hurt. Susan tries to comfort him but it's too late.  He runs off, sobbing.

All evening Susan has been unwilling to chose between her friends and her brother. Now she can make that decision and she chooses Terry. Her friends know they've gone to far and Michael knows he's blown it.
 
At home Terry throws a fit and, in tears, breaks Susan's personal stereo.

Susan finds Terry lying on her bed. She wants to prove her love to him and offers to take him to the cinema that weekend. Terry relieved and excited accepts.  He's worried about her stereo but she reassures him that it isn't broken. And what's more important, neither is their relationship.

Ends.

© Jane Pugh 2003

You might also be asked to provide a very short outline when a producer or funder is interested in more than one idea you have. Here is another example: 

Camping For Girls

Quadruple divorced Chelsea, 36, has given up on love. She returns to Cornwall to establish the single women's camping club – like the Girl Guides only for grown ups.  Women can stay, their children can stay but no men are allowed. And this isn't some kind of dating thing, this is for women who want to be single. Who don't think their whole lives depend on love, who are amongst the growing trend of single people and the much-beleaguered world of the single mum. They're going to be strong, independent and most of all happy. The women turn up all right, the only problem is – they're none of the above. Chelsea's utopian dream starts to crumble when the women start picking off available men, when her embittered ex-boyfriend and local Mr. Big starts a campaign to rid the village of the misfit single mums, when her son, Elliot, falls in love for the first time, and when single dad, Nobby turns up. Chelsea tries too hard to hold on to her dream where single people fight back. But is anyone really genuinely happy being single? Can you honestly turn your back on love?

End
© Jane Pugh 2007

Sometimes you might even be asked to provide a synopsis of a film that is no more than three sentences long. The trick therefore, in all cases, is to be succinct. You can try and express the tone of the film in your style of writing but don't rely on it.  You must also provide some other essential information: Your name, all your contact details, the title of the film, its genre and its intended length. And don't forget to put 'The End' at the end!

So just to be clear, when is it the right time to write an outline?

1. We write an outline at the beginning of the writing process, we never just launch into writing a script.

2. The next time you will be asked to write an outline, it will be a polished document that the producer (or you) can use to raise finance to be able to write the script.

Only move on to writing your treatment when you are happy with your outline.

How to write a treatment

Once again the purpose of a treatment is twofold – one version is for your purposes and another version is to use as a selling document.

A treatment is an in depth, blow by blow account of your story.  As a general rule of thumb, one would expect a treatment to be between 15 and 30 pages long for a feature length script.

By this point you, like so many writers, might well be asking 'yes, but when do I get to write the script!?' The answer is not yet. If your outline is akin to telling an entertaining story in the pub, a treatment is different, it's like writing a very detailed map so that your friend can find the pub.
What does it include?

1. A brief outline of the story – one paragraph long.

2. Brief character profiles – one paragraph long for each character.

3. One sentence describing its genre and the audience it is aimed at.

4. The blow by blow account of your story.

5. A treatment does not include dialogue.

Let's look at point number four in more detail.

To write a treatment you must follow the narrative, three act structure of the story. As you are drafting your treatment you will discover if the narrative works. If it doesn't then the treatment affords you the space and time to amend any structural problems you might encounter. Once again it is much easier to wrestle with the narrative in treatment form than wading through pages and pages of script.

Some writers write a brief scene description on post it notes or index cards so they can easily swap the scenes round until everything works. Final Draft, if you are using it, also has this facility.

Some writers bash out a first draft of a treatment from beginning to end and then edit.

Other writers edit as they go along.

Some writers write a treatment in longhand first of all and then transfer it onto computer.

Some writers have a pile of free-formed scenes written on bits of paper and then they make narrative sense of them on their computers.

Some writers don't start at the beginning but chose a key scene that has particularly captured their imaginations and work backwards and forwards from that point.

It really is entirely up to you how you write your treatment. There are no hard and fast rules. There is no right way or wrong way of producing a treatment.

What is important, however, is that you keep writing your treatment until you are entirely satisfied that every aspect of your story works; the narrative, the setting, the characters and the character development, the theme and its conclusion. If you think to yourself, this isn't right but I'll move onto the script and sort it out then, I'm afraid you're wrong, you won't, you'll just get into a worse muddle. Writing a script is a highly complex undertaking, it requires graft as well as talent. If you follow each step carefully you will find that the process gets easier as you go along: A good outline means the treatment will be easier to write. A good treatment means the step outline will be easier to write. A good step outline means the script will be easier to write. Don't attempt to shortcut the process. Interestingly, a treatment can take just as long if not longer to write than the first draft of your script because it is here where all the narrative crafting takes place.

Here is a sample of a treatment:

A giant orange moon fills the screen. 

The camera hurtles towards the earth and homes in on a large telescope poking out of a round observatory roof. The observatory replaces a normal roof on top of an ordinary old council house in St. Just. Outside children zigzag across the car park on skateboards. On a clear evening, the sun is setting across a vast open sky.

Gemma, 12, tall for her age and red-haired, is up in her Grandpa's observatory, looking at the surface of the moon through Grandpa's giant telescope. Grandpa's observatory is a magical space full of books and charts on astronomy, and memorabilia from Grandpa’s days as an engineer in the RAF.

Gemma dreams aloud of one day traveling to the moon in a rocket. Grandpa confesses that when he was in the RAF, he and his friends attempted to build a rocket but it was destroyed in an explosion. Gemma is amazed, Grandpa never told her before.

Gemma goes home.  She lives with her parents and her kid brother, David, who is seven. Dad is a taxi driver and Mum is library assistant.

Her parents, sitting in front of the TV with their arms round each other, roll their eyes as Gemma apologises for being late and rushes to her room. She finds David lying on her bed listening to her CDs. Gemma goes mad and throws David out. David kicks her in the shins as he leaves. Mutual animosity between brother and sister.

That night, Gemma wakes to the sound of David throwing up in the bathroom, he's been sick all over his slippers. Gemma still thinks her baby brother is a pain.

The next day it's pouring with rain.  Mum decides to take David to the doctors, Dad flops in front of the telly to watch the Grand Prix and Gemma returns to the observatory.

Later, Grandpa is busy checking the telescope lens and Gemma is flicking through astronomy magazines. They’re so engrossed that it takes a moment before they realise someone is hammering on the door. It's their neighbour, Mrs. Bennett. She is a bit eccentric and fancies Grandpa so he always does his best to avoid her but she isn't going to go away. Standing under her umbrella, Mrs. Bennett has terrible news; David has been rushed into hospital.

© Jane Pugh 2003

As I mentioned earlier, the purpose of a treatment is twofold, it is for your purposes and it is also a selling document. For your purposes, it is fine to use short-hand or write without too much regard to spelling and grammar! It is obviously not fine to show that version to prospective producers or financiers. The extract I have given you from my treatment for David's Rocket was for my eyes only. When producing a treatment for the outside world to look at, remember the following:

1.  Include a very short synopsis of the story.

2.  Give it a title – even if it's just a working title.

3. State the genre and intended audience.

4. Provide brief character profiles.

5. The blow by blow account must be written in third person narrative and in present tense. It must be succinct and to the point.

6. Spellings and grammatical errors are an absolute no-no, so check it thoroughly before sending it.

7. Write in plain English, don't use abbreviations, short hand, don't write in a style only you can understand, don't waffle and don't use dialogue.

8. Number all the pages.

9. Don't include images.

10. Bind it simply, it is not appropriate to include elaborate covers.

There is one more task to undertake, the SCENE BREAKDOWN, this in theory, doesn't take too long, famous last words!

The scene breakdown does exactly what it says on the tin. Instead of a blow by blow account of your story, you now need to write a scene by scene account but in brief. As you know the content of your story, you don't need to go into lots of detail here, a one sentence description of each scene, or thereabouts, is sufficient.

The scene breakdown provides you really with a list of each scene as they unfold, it is a quick reference document for when you are writing your script. But there is still creative work to be done. The scene breakdown affords you the opportunity to think exactly how and where your scene takes place and how each scene unfolds. In your treatment you might describe your main protagonist and her boyfriend at home arguing over denting the car, in your scene breakdown, you might have their argument taking place in the kitchen, living room and bathroom, as one character follows the other one around the house.

A scene breakdown is never used as a selling document like an outline and treatment. It is essentially for your purposes but if you are working with a producer or script editor, they will need to look at it too, so my rules on clarity still apply.

Here is a sample of a scene breakdown:

From David’s Rocket

1. It's the last day of school, Gemma and Cliff are running out of the school gates along with all the other children. The children are throwing flour and eggs at each other – it is chaos.

2. Gemma and Cliff run onto the cliffs and hide amongst the gorse bushes. They almost kiss. Glint from the window.

3. Gemma realises she is being spied upon by David and Grandpa who are looking through their telescope.

4. Gemma gesticulates rudely.

5. In the watchtower, Grandpa is shocked – where did Gemma learn to stick two fingers up!

6. Gemma and David have a row in the kitchen, David is always ruining her fun. Mum tries to break up the argument. Gemma says she hates her little brother.

7. That night, Gemma is lying in bed. She hears David throwing up in the bathroom and tries her best to ignore it.

© Jane Pugh 2003
 

Before we leave this subject, I want to briefly discuss terminology. I have talked about outlines, treatments and scene breakdowns but they can be titled differently:

• An outline is also referred to as a synopsis.

• A treatment is also referred to as a step outline

• A scene breakdown is also referred to as a step outline.

A little confusing I'm sure you'll agree. If you have been asked by a producer or script editor or even a director to produce one of the above and they use terminology that you don’t understand, then simply ask them exactly what they would like you to produce. Make sure you understand before you start writing.

So, to recap: First you write an outline, to establish a clear understanding of the script you would like to write. Next you write a treatment so you can work out the narrative, finally you write a scene breakdown to use as a simple guide to refer to when you are writing your script. Each step you take should make the next step easier and by going through such a rigorous process, you will know your story and your characters thoroughly and be in a very confident position to be able to write your script.

Decision time!

From your top three ideas and from your alternative media assignment, please select one idea and submit it for peer group appraisal.

Please submit your idea accordingly:

1. A one paragraph synopsis of your idea.

2. An outline of your story that is no longer than 1,000 words.

3. Post your work to the session forum.  And critique the work of at least two of your fellow students in the anthology for this session.
    

Next we would like everyone to act as script editors. A very important part of a script editor's job is to source new talent and new ideas. Often they will read a script to find out if they are interested in a writer but they will also meet with writers to discuss potential ideas too. Furthermore, if you are applying to the UK Film Council or to anyone else running a script development scheme, you will only be asked to submit a short synopsis and an outline anyway.

So, with only a short synopsis and a one page outline to look at, what kind of questions must you ask yourself?

The first set of questions explores the quality of the work.

1. Does the plot work, is it engaging and compelling?

2. Are the characters interesting and engaging and easy to identify with?

3. Is it an original story?

4. If appropriate, is it well researched and able to stand up to scrutiny?

5. Does the writer have a unique point of view on the world, have they something new and different to say?

6. Did you enjoy it?

7. Finally, I would like you to think of three short points on how the writer might improve the idea (unless of course, it’s absolutely perfect!)

The second set of questions explores its appeal in the market place.

1. Does it have audience appeal?

2. Which audience is it aimed at?

3. Is it very similar to a film that has already been made?

4. Is it big budget, medium budget, low budget or micro budget?

5. Decision time: Would you reject it, hold it as a good example of the writer's work, or want to put it into development?

Once you have answered the above questions, we would like you to prepare a script report of no more than 500 words.

Here are some do's and don'ts when writing a script report:

• Be objective.  It's not about whether the idea is to your particular taste.  You are judging it on its merits and whether it has potential in the market place.

• Remember that the writer is going to read your report. We know we've all heard horror stories about rejected novels and scripts but as a script reader and script editor it is unprofessional to get personal or hurtful.

• Don't read the outlines as a writer, don’t think about how you would write it if it is your idea, think like an editor.

• Work quickly. When Jane worked as a script reader, she had two days to read six scripts and write reports on all of them.

At the top of the page please put:

1. The writer's name

2. The title

3. The reader's name

Please read everyone's outlines and everyone’s reports.

Post your comments on the outlines in the session forum.

Please view this as good practice.  The more ideas and scripts you read the better you will know the industry.

Our final part of this week’s session is 'How To Take Criticism'

Paul Abbot said 'writing is rewriting'. How true.

• Learn to differentiate between useful and constructive criticism and negative criticism.

• Don't take it personally, think only how the notes will help improve your idea.

• React calmly and think about the comments before acting, especially considering you are going to receive lots of comments from many different quarters.

• Don't worry if someone comes up with a brilliant idea that you haven't thought of, remember script writing is collaborative.

• Make a careful list of all the notes before applying them to the next draft of your outline.

• Don't be a push over.  Sometimes, you will receive notes that are a little or entirely off the mark.  It's fine for you to make a judgment on whether the notes are useful or not.

• Remember it is a collaborative process. The writer doesn't get their script made into a film, they are a team member.  Lots of people are invested in the script, so keep that ego at bay!

We think it would nice to have some informal comments on our website to find out what everyone thought of the process. This is worth some personal reflection because there's a lot to think about. How do you maintain your integrity as a writer and work collaboratively? Your thoughts and observations would be most welcome. For insight into the world of script editing and writing script reports, please refer to Julian Friedmann’s How to Make Money Scriptwriting and his chapter on script editing and script reports.

Portfolio of Ideas:

Just to reiterate, it's decision time! From your top three ideas and from your alternative media assignment, please select one idea and submit it for my comments and peer group appraisal.

Post your work to the session forum.  And critique the work of at least two of your fellow students in the anthology for this session.

Please note that any work you post to the course forum is available to the public under a Creative Commons License.

Movie of the week:

London to Brighton: another micro budget film with a simple, nicely constructed script.